what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
