I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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