2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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