You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
