I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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