Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
