pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
