There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
