eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
