Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
