He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
