I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
