Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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