My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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