Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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