She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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