why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Randomize
