How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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