I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
