i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
