Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
