The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
