is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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