i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
