he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
