im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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