i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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