Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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