I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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