We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
