i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
