If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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