I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
