You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
