Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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