Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
