So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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