I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize