He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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