i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
