now i know why i became what i already was.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize