your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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