I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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