You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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