From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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