Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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