that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
