Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Houston, we have a squirter
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
