Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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