Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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