tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
