Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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