It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
