you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
