I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
