We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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