Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
