Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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