she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
