I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
