Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
