Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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