just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
