drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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